Tuesday, 24 May 2011
Success
If showing up is 90% of success, what is the other 10%? Raw talent? Ass kissing? Racism? Sexism?
Denmark
Denmark is said to be the happiest country in the world. How do they qualify this happiness?
Career Vs. Relationship
Why do careers and relationships never thrive consecutively? Finding a career is like finding a mate. You must be willing to "settle" with one, right? How can you focus on both and find enough time for yourself?
Public Speaking
I have a terrible fear of speaking in public, but no fear of singing. Maybe I should sing my lectures.
Vacation
Whenever I am on a great vacation, I want to move the the place I visit. But coming to New Zealand (Vacationland) has made me realize that nowhere is normally as fun as when you are on vacation. Once you have lived somewhere for three or so months, it becomes normal.
Home
Staying home does not make you a failure, it makes you resourceful. And even though living abroad may make you more worldly, it can also make you feel like you don't fit in anywhere, because once you do go home you are not the same. Thoughts?
Warm Weather.
Warm weather should be reserved for summer because when a warm day does roll around, you enjoy the entire day more.
The First Post.
It has come to my attention that I am entering into a quarter-life crisis. I have had the same dream of becoming a sociology professor for 6 years and have been well on my way to achieving my goal. The only integral missing puzzle piece is my PhD. I have applied to 8 programs and have been turned down by all of them. Recently I thought, maybe I should take this as a sign to look elsewhere for future financial security. I am currently considering getting a second masters in media studies and either selling out and working for a corporation or becoming a writer, or both. Of course I love teaching with a fierce passion, but it is SO hard to get a decent job without a PhD. Damn those baby boomers having more publications, experience and awards than me!
This is NOT an identity crisis. This is just a part of my journey. I come from the well known and loved or hated suburbs of Long Island. There I had a simple life, a loving family, great friends and a dead end job teaching people who needed a second chance at college. I was well revered at my job, but I thirsted for something more. After getting denied from all of the PhD programs to which I applied, I decided to move to New Zealand to study the advertisement of genetic testing (I had no idea what it was before I got here either). I moved here in September with the intention of perhaps getting my doctorate here. I fell in love with the beautiful landscapes and friendly people, but alas something was/is still missing. Where did my passion go? I came in like a lion and I feel that I will be going out like a lamb. I had a fierceness in my convictions, I finished my work the day that it was assigned to me. I felt productive and successful. Something has changed. My passion waned and I stopped feeling that fire under my butt that made me keep going.
After a few months, I started teaching criminology as well as doing my research. I had never taught criminology before or been in a class of 203 people, never mind standing up and lecturing to that many people. I almost peed my pants on the first day of class. I was a stuttering and babbling idiot, I am sure 100 people wondered how the hell i got up there, and the other 100 felt sorry for me. After 3 classes, the cat was out of the bag that I had no idea what I was talking about and I had other lecturers cover my classes from there on, the last class of the semester is next week and I will be lecturing on prohibition and the criminalization of drugs. I am already getting crippling anxiety about it.
Anyway, the reason why I am starting this blog is to straighten out my thoughts and to see if "the good life" really exists or if its just some story we are told to pacify our minds. Comments are appreciated.
This is NOT an identity crisis. This is just a part of my journey. I come from the well known and loved or hated suburbs of Long Island. There I had a simple life, a loving family, great friends and a dead end job teaching people who needed a second chance at college. I was well revered at my job, but I thirsted for something more. After getting denied from all of the PhD programs to which I applied, I decided to move to New Zealand to study the advertisement of genetic testing (I had no idea what it was before I got here either). I moved here in September with the intention of perhaps getting my doctorate here. I fell in love with the beautiful landscapes and friendly people, but alas something was/is still missing. Where did my passion go? I came in like a lion and I feel that I will be going out like a lamb. I had a fierceness in my convictions, I finished my work the day that it was assigned to me. I felt productive and successful. Something has changed. My passion waned and I stopped feeling that fire under my butt that made me keep going.
After a few months, I started teaching criminology as well as doing my research. I had never taught criminology before or been in a class of 203 people, never mind standing up and lecturing to that many people. I almost peed my pants on the first day of class. I was a stuttering and babbling idiot, I am sure 100 people wondered how the hell i got up there, and the other 100 felt sorry for me. After 3 classes, the cat was out of the bag that I had no idea what I was talking about and I had other lecturers cover my classes from there on, the last class of the semester is next week and I will be lecturing on prohibition and the criminalization of drugs. I am already getting crippling anxiety about it.
Anyway, the reason why I am starting this blog is to straighten out my thoughts and to see if "the good life" really exists or if its just some story we are told to pacify our minds. Comments are appreciated.
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